005 - Needle Phobic

Needle Phobic 

 06.01.04 

To be in love is a choice
Desire: a Meme, a Virus?
I hate needles the same as anyone else
And I never did no smack

But when I think of falling, of being “in love”
I feel like I must close my eyes and grit my teeth
Offering my juiciest, plumpest vein
To the sharp prick of your Love Injection

Bearing the puncture of my delicate membranes
In greedy anticipation of that distinct rush of sweetness
Knock me out with your kiss like that
Melt me away, send the sweet sting through my veins

Straight through my breastbone if you want
Your love spreads and seeps deep
Into every healing wound and fissure
Of my systematically – Intentionally - Necessarily
Cryogenically frozen heart organ
Smoothing my raw and broken edges with care

My parallel processors have been working overtime
It’s the Discernment department
Which is a bit understaffed
This due diligence is thorough
Sensing you, identifying this heady rush you provoke
Testing authenticity, purity
I’m young a little still
But not naïve, not given over to infatuation

Maybe you want to know the difference
Between you and any other love I’ve had
I told you already what I know
We adapt together, to one another
There is always rocky footing
Mutual trepidation as we carefully expose and explore
Even down to the gutters of the wastelands of heart
Assessing the damage with objectivity and positivity
Can’t help but think like an insurance adjuster:
“How much will it cost/take to repair the damage?”
Both of us walking wounded, but functioning somehow
My pain is deep and yours is too
But we are mobilizing each other to heal and grow
Beneath your gaze and within your embrace
I cry but I can smile
“It’s not so bad.”

I stumble and you pick me up
You falter and I am there
We dust off and apologize
Hold hands and hearts for a moment
Then keep walking
To a destination which is not ahead of us
But right here between us

An organic, dynamic place we both envision
And that shared image is in our hearts
With careful intention and sometimes difficulty
We map it out, an invisible blueprint
Drafted by our dreams and desires
Structured by care and intentional action
Decorated with kink and sweet
We troubleshoot and fortify weaknesses
Patiently working alongside one another
Each kiss is a motivation

@ Times I am stunned by the rightness and resonance
The sudden manifestation
All my words, incantations, whispered wishes and desperate cries
Animated to flesh and Spirit:
You. 

You activate the buoyancy in my Love Paradigm.
You are my Chosen People.